I wanted to make some, but wasn't able to find any really easy to follow instructions for a good way to make a reasonably decent fake that is generally safe to use around human beings. (Cigarette filters and acetone didn't sound healthy to me....)
There are some clues out there... lots of people talk about Methyl Cellulose, but they don't spell out how to do it, step by step, or they have you do a LOT of stirring to get it right. Here's what I've found with a little experimentation:
Step One: Get some Methyl Cellulose.
OK.. What is Methyl Cellulose? It's a synthetic thickener or emulsifier. They use it for all kinds of stuff to make it thick and gooey. Toothpaste, shampoo, personal lubricants, artificial tears and saliva, cooking gel, mortar, glue, etc... It's also used to treat constipation. (It's the main ingredient in Citrucel.)
Yummy right?
Well, not so much. It's hydrophilic especially in warm water. Don't try to eat the powder. It will probably gum all up, and make you choke to death on it. It's not going to hurt you if prepared properly, but PLEASE don't ingest the powdered form. (When prepared properly, a la Citrucel, for example, it passes right through you, your body doesn't absorb it at all. That's WHY it helps with "regularity.")
Also the Japanese use it in lotion-play movies.
Sounds like I'm going to have to go to Dow Chemical to get some!?
Nope: go to Amazon.com:
You could also go to willpowder.com, but there are other brands. I recommend this one, because they all act differently at different temperatures, and the instructions here are written with this particular product in mind.
Step Two: Get some containers with sealable lids.
You're going to want to contain about 3 cups of liquid, and be able to shake it pretty well. I use Ziploc 3-cup disposable bowls with lids. You could probably use a ziploc bag, or whatever. Even a pot or bowl will work, but you'll have to do a lot of stirring that way.
Step Three: Get some white paint.
I went to the local craft store and got white, washable, non-toxic, water-based paint. You're only going to need a drop or two, so don't get a large container. If you're planning to put the fake cum in your mouth, this kind of paint in this amount should be harmless. Either way, I wouldn't ingest your fake cum. - It's NOT going to taste good, with or without the paint....
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| Cummy, but not Yummy |
Step Four: Boil 3 Cups of Water.
The methyl cellulose you're going to be adding does NOT dissolve well in cold water. It mostly floats around, sticks to your bowl or spoon, and makes big white clumps, and pretends that it doesn't dissolve at at. It pretty much acts like that in boiling water too, but not nearly as bad.
Step Five: Add 3 to 5 level tablespoons of methyl cellulose.
Just dump it in there. It will float on top. Three tablespoons if you like runny cum, five if you like it a bit thick and gooey.
I just put 3 cups of water in the ziplock bowl container, zap it in the microwave for a couple of minutes (about 2) then, I take it out and add the methylcellulose right into the container, pop the lid on, and shake it good and hard.
Step Six: Mix.
If you're using a container that can be sealed, seal it, and shake vigorously. Check to make sure it's all dissolved. If so, you're done. If not, shake some more. You'll probably have some bubbles on top. Skim them off with a spoon. If you're doing this in an open bowl, you're going to have to do a lot of stirring until it's all dissolved. It's a lot more work than just shaking in a closed container. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Step Seven: Allow it to cool.
After it cools quite a bit, it will settle out: slimy water will float to the top, on the bottom there will be a clear layer of hard goo. You're going to have to mix it more. I just reach in with my hand and squish it until it's mostly not lumpy. Then I let it cool some more, then I mix it again. After two or three times, it will stop settling out, and just be a clear-ish goo with the consistency of a nice thick three-cup load of cum.
But wait! It's clear!?
Well, either find a hot Japanese girl and coat her in it, or....
Step Eight: Add white color.
Here's where you add a few drops of white paint... maybe half a teaspoon at the most. You could use some other white substance like milk, or vanilla yogurt, or whatever else, but it will spoil quickly, and the stuff will get moldy. With white paint, it seems to keep for a long time, and you don't need much of it to make it a nice pearly cum color.
Step Nine: Play with your new bucket of cum:
